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I am a SAHM of 6 little dudes. My hubby's jobs require him to be away from home way more than I would like leaving me to fly solo more often than not. Since Dr. Phil won't return my calls, and Oprah has unfriended me, my therapy has now gone public! Here is where I go to receive cheap advice, reassurance and hopefully share some laughs. Honeslty, I'd love to make you laugh until you pee! So come, grab a cup of coffee (or vodka) and join in the conversation!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Mommy Badges

There is a lot that goes into being a mama...the good, the bad, and the ugly. I talk about earning one of my most-prized mommy badges over at Taste of T.

Motherhood is full of wonderful moments, rewarding events, and heart-warming memories. This post includes none of those. Tanya asked me to guest post while she was on maternity leave, and I jumped at the opportunity (now that I know my current predicament...I may have to ask her to return the favor!). I wanted to share with her the real true nitty gritty that comes with this Mommy-hood gig. At some point every mama earns her badge of honor...and it's not always pretty!

Jump on over to Tanya's place to read more about my badge of mommy-honor and cheer her on as she embarks on this adventure called motherhood!

Monday, May 30, 2011

I'm Going To The Land Down Under

No, not Australia (although...that would be awesome!). No. I'm talking about the "female nether regions"...the "hair down there"...your "preferred coif"..."female-scaping". Yep...I'm going there! I'm intrigued that there is actually trends, fashions, and a general popular opinion when it comes to this particular region of our anatomy. What once was ruled by the "bush" is now ruled by precise grooming, shaping, and maintenance. There is an entire industry devoted to this particular nuance of personal grooming...and I am completely intrigued, baffled, and humored by the phenomenon...albeit, completely sucked in!

I, myself, have sported several "styles", if you will. And I'm curious as to whether or not this is a mainstream concern with which us wives and mothers should concern ourselves. Is your "down-under" keeping up with popular trends? Or have you abandoned the issue all together? I pose the question because as a species, women are quite judgemental. And to that regard...it is almost swimsuit season...which leaves little to the imagination on all areas of the body. Where there was once "bush for the cush", there is now finely groomed or barely there which leaves tight swimsuit clinging to all areas. The dreaded-and much complained about- "camel-toe" runs rampant at the city pool. And I just need to know which way women stand on this issue. Is it acceptable and understandable or not? Not sure. But I do know that I would like to think women aren't inspecting and judging my personal grooming preferences. Camel-toe or not...why are you looking????

On another facet...to Brazilian wax or not to Brazilian wax? The procedure entices me...I have to be honest. The allure of NOT shaving and shaping daily seems like a luxury. And the more my pregnant belly grows...the more and more difficult it becomes to see what I'm doing down there. (Here's a warning to the newbie down-under groomer.....DO NOT use scissors haphazardly! DO NOT wield your razor too quickly. AND my all means respect the tenderness of the delicacies you are handling!) However, the thought of a complete stranger frosting my nether regions- every nook and cranny- with hot wax and then ripping out every single stubborn hair....makes my eyes water...and my "secrets" to become somewhat shy.  But nonetheless, I have debated it several times.

So do share....Au natural, styled coif, landing strip, or smooth as a baby's butt??

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Calgon....Take Me Away

Two weeks down...50 to go until hubby returns. And as I've mentioned previously, when daddy's away, chaos and stress shall play! It takes us awhile to get into our single-parent-house-of-5 groove. Needless to say, we haven't achieved that harmony quite yet. And the monsoon that has plagued our region for the past month has left me dreary, crabby, and in desperate need of some sun and fresh air! I have 4 boys...we NEED to be outside! I'm starting to question my sanity.

Leaking roof....check (because this couldn't possibly happen while hubby was here). Lawnmower being a be-yotch and refusing to cut the jungle we call our lawn...check. Day 2 of summer vacation and kids are making me pull out my hair (because I can't send them outside)...check. Wet, mud-covered, doesn't-listen-to-me-dog driving me crazy...check. I need sun. I NEED IT! I need to pack a cooler and head to the pool; I need to play at the park until the kids crash in exhaustion. This muddy rain-soaked weather has me at the end of my pregnant, nauseous rope!

Last night, I succumbed to the innocent blue eyes of my 4 darling offspring as they pleaded to "sleep with mommy"! I know better...but my judgement has been scewed by vomit, fatigue, and stress. It was a disaster in the making. The night ended with super cranky mommy who had been violated all night long by the slumbering 2 year old, who had been awakened by every groan, sniffle, fart, and snort of the otherwise comatose four-some, and who called it quits to the family sleepover at 4 am...to which the 2 year old protested loudly in his crib until 5:30 when he finally screamed himself to sleep.

I'm ready to trade the children for a QUIET day at the spa. And I'm willing to give the dog to anyone who will have him. I've never claimed to be a pet lover....he has been forced upon me. And, unfortunately, for the puppy, I have ZERO patience, energy, time, or extra love for him. My plate is full. Not only do I have the task of being a single parent of 4...but I'm also unexpectedly baking another one. AND I am taking care of all things that surround....life of a family: house, budget, kids, laundry, food (ugh...the very thought of cooking right now makes me barf!) all the while exhausted and nauseous.

Seriously...only 2 weeks down....50 yet to go! Calgon...take me away!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Riddle Me This

I've been gone for awhile enjoying time with my hubby before he raced off to save the world for the next year. I wanted to share with all of you what has been going on in my Mom-dom. In my attempts to formulate a successful riddle to tickle your fancies I discovered my inability to complete such a task. Therefore, I am resorting to....Math. Indulge me for a moment............


Math Problem #1:






+







=


wild, impulsive, making-up-for-a-year, PROTECTED,
pre-war rendezvous with my hubby





Math Problem #2:


wild, impulsive, making-up-for-a-year, PROTECTED,
pre-war rendezvous with my hubby



+



apparent divine intervention


=




Monday, May 2, 2011

Life Is A Highway

Highways take us from one location to another. By definition, they are a direct path or course in which to travel. Some highways are filled with sights to see, places to stop, and adventures untold. However, other highways include twists and turns, bumps and potholes, construction and detours.

Our weekend took us on a long, hot, boring highway...one that lead to a forgotten quiet town. We've been on this highway for the past year now, and our destination, regrettably, gets closer and closer. This past weekend marked the beginning of a journey on a much longer highway, however...one that will most assuredly be stained with tears, questions, concerns, sadness, and now a new set of twists and turns we are trying to understand. This weekend was the yellow ribbon event for our military unit preparing for deployment. It is the launch of what we've been trying to ignore.

In preparation for this highway journey, we organized, prepared, and planned sitters, drop-offs, pick-ups, practice updates, games, and nap schedules. I made sure meals were in place, gear was organized, and details were complete. Briefings, meetings, and informational sessions were attended by just my hubby and myself as we left our 4 kids under the care of loved ones...all the while leaving our unexpected detour in the back of our minds.

I left the event stressed, anxious, exhausted, and choking down thoughts and emotions that I am determined not to express. But the highway leading me home proved to be therapeutic...the hum of the tires on the road and the whir of the wind around us calmed my nerves and eased my tension. What 3 days before was a boring and long road was, on this day, cathartic and relaxing. The green rolling hills kissed the blue sky dolloped with fluffy cotton-candy clouds along the horizon as we drove quietly along this familiar highway....familiarity for which my soul yearned.

We don't always knowingly choose the detours that await us on our life's highway. Some of those choices may leave us wondering, questioning, and unsure. But I must trust that my highway is guarded by God....even if I am struggling to accept His will.

As I gazed across the rolling green prairie just starting to resemble springtime I felt a calming...an assurance. Even if it's not my plan...I can still rise up, ask for strength, and rejoice in the beauty of my highway.
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