Thursday, May 2, 2013

Panty Raid

Often the least thought about item of our daily routine is our undergarments. They are rarely seen (at least they shouldn't be seen once you are a female of a certain age) or appreciated. The proper undergarment can lift, separate, smooth, hold, accentuate...pretty much anything you need an undergarment to do you can find one that will fit the bill. I'd like to argue that the undergarment should rank as on of the most important delicacies of which we adorn ourselves.

Men you can turn a blind eye to this matter. I'm sure you could care less who, what, when, where or why it is what it is...I'm most certain your only concern is how the garment comes off! Ladies, however, we need to discuss a very specific piece of our apparel that I think we glaze over on account of it being a slightly awkward discussion. Since I'm not one to shy away from awkward let's open the floor for a discussion about our panties. Prudes and granny panty wearers should probably not involve themselves in this discussion.

Let's first discuss the affinity with splitting the difference and our desire as women to floss our a$$ cracks with the many varieties of the thong. Don't be mistaken, I'm an avid believer in the necessity of a's vital to our wardrobe even if it isn't always the most comfortable option in our lingerie drawer..especially once you've popped a couple kids through your tunnel. Panty lines can be most certainly avoided when a chica encases her lady bits with this teeny-tiny slingshots...or torture devices. Sometimes a man just wants to see the juicy curves of a woman's badonkadonk without the extra fabric of actual underwear interfering (this thought is coming from Lt Hubby...I may have expounded a little and fluffed it up some. His actual response was more barbaric including a wink, sexy eyes, and an inappropriate innuendo.) Use this information to your advantage!

Unfortunately, it is not as simple as it may sound to find a proper thong, however. Since it will be keeping close quarters with some important areas of your human anatomy, make no mistake that you will want to pick your fabric, fit and design carefully. Pinching, pulling or chafing are not appreciated by the cooch!  If you are a thong virgin, though, I must leave you with a NOT wear these to bed unless you are hoping and willing to receive some groping from your man. For some reason, they think the thong is an invitation for their "presence" if it is a beacon calling them home! It just doesn't provide enough defense to impede advancement and accessibility, but if that's your goal by all means thong it up!

One of my most favorite styles of undies would be the cheeky variety. I've found these to be quite comfortable but not always practical in avoiding that panty line. And occasionally, depending upon the cut of them, one may suffer from a wedgie. Avoid the temptation to adjust one of these if you are in public! One must also make sure there is proper support and not too high of a cut for your girly parts. You'll know what I mean if you've ever found yourself with the misfortune of some overhang...kind of like when a dude needs to adjust a nut...sometimes girls' parts "get out of line" as well. Ours, however, are much harder to adjust. In channeling Larry the Cucumber (from Veggie Tales), "I love my lips" and if they're happy, then I'm happy!

Of course one of your Go-To items needs to be a bikini or brief. Some days our lady bits just simply don't feel the need to impress anybody...everybody needs a day off occasionally and why should we overlook the vajayjay. The brief is a perfect accessory for a laundry or cleaning day. These might also be used during workouts. This one is more of a personal preference., but I've learned since competing at hurdles that having "things" slip out of position can lead to unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions. Proper undergarments for exercise, workouts or sports is not just an option, it's a necessity. And nobody wants to see a "slip of a lip" in yoga or kickboxing class! Keep that business under wraps.

I think it's safe to say that out options are vast and wide but make the wrong choice, and your day could be ruined. Invest in some quality panties and let your lips do the talking!

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