Wednesday, February 22, 2012

They DO Exist!

It's a bird?! It's a plane?! No, actually it resembles something along the lines of...Big Foot! And "it" is me! That's right. I'm talking about my appearance. That once beautiful pregnant glow has faded into the unsightly image of sleep deprived, rarely showered, at-the-end-of-her-rope, new mama! It has been 4 days and counting since I basked in the world's fastest shower. Without another adult and 4 kids plus one demanding baby, showers have become a sprint! Things don't really get washed as much as it's an attempt at a less-than-thorough rinse to make myself feel better. It's been so long since I've properly applied makeup that I may have forgotten how to do it. And much to my chagrin, my hair has become much more "wash and wear" than I would like.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm not much of a natural girl?? Beauty, at least on my behalf, must be worked for...plucking, coloring, depillatating (not quite sure if that is a word...but in my overly sleep deprived brain it actually makes complete sense!), exfoliating, primping, blow drying, straightening, applying. You get the idea. I'm most assuredly a work in progress. "Beauty is skin deep" my a**! Looking good takes time and work...and lately time elludes me, and I'm too tired to apply the work necessary to show my face in public. The four walls of my house have become my prison...I mean my sactuary!

If anyone has the delusional idea that staying at home with your minion- um children- is glamorous...they should peak in my windows (actually...please don't do that.) Some days I can be found at 3pm still in my pj's from the night before...which were actually the outfit from the day before! Gross? Nope...just being energy efficient and cutting down on laundry. Let's use that reasoning for my recent tendency to avoid bathing: I'm just being environmentally conscious! My house is disheveled, my appearance is scary, and my once desperate attempt to control my portion of the world has flown out the window.

I'd cry for calgon to take me away, but we all know I'm not going to have time to sit in that bath anyway. So until I actually figure out how to duplicate myself, afford a nanny and/or housekeeper, or hell finally freezes over...I'm going to continue to scare the neighborhood children with my saskwatch resemblance!


The Mommy Mambo said...

OH! It's a boy! Sorry I'm giggling but Long Live the Queen!
I've been missing in action so long I had to check on you. I see you are suffering from a recurring illness caused from, well, boys. Of all sizes, but mainly the 10 lb sort. If I was close I'd come rock the little one and wrestle with the rest so you could sleep it off. That way you'd get some rest and I would further sqaush the baby itch! LOL Hang in there mama. You're my hero :)

Jennifer Gilbart said...

You have every right to wear (and sleep in and wear again) clothes for multiple days. And every right to be disheveled in a messy house. You have 5 kids, one of whom is what, 2 months old? I'm telling you I could not do what you're doing. I could barely do it with my 2 kids and with a husband around. Hang in there. Your bod will come back, your life will come back. It will take time though! Hugs!