In my realization that I am indeed becoming one of the dudes, I've realized that my home isn't equipped properly to handle the needs and demands of all-things-boy. What I used to believe was adequate in making a house a home I have now discovered isn't practical in regards to the male species. Pretty things, delicate or fancy decor, items meant for seeing and not touching or anything that cannot withstand being tackled, jumped upon, tipped over or stabbed with a pirate sword are not meant for a home filled with boys. I would love a home worthy of a magazine but that is hardly practical in my testosterone-filled world.
I seek a renovation worthy to be labeled "Boy friendly". I want people to walk in and know this home belongs to dudes...and I mean that in a good way. I need a locker room-esque bathroom...one that can be power washed if necessary and containing multiple showerheads in a row and at least one urinal. There are 7 weenie whackers in my home...I NEED a urinal! If you only have girls or mostly girls you are probably laughing at my suggestion...maybe you are even questioning my sanity, but I'm completely serious! Boys are dirty, nasty, smelly creatures, and a hose-downable bathroom seems like an answer to a dude-mom dilemma. And a urinal (maybe even two!) makes complete sense to me!
Instead of a standard entryway, I would prefer a washable, stain-resistant room worthy of receiving 6 boys in all of their glory ever singly day. I'm thinking stainless steel from top to bottom that again can be hosed down. Springtime rain mud messes, snow and ice covered winter gear and the baseball field amount of dirt that accompanies my crew home after every stint at the ball fields wouldn't stand a chance in such a room. It would be a wash, rinse and repeat kind of home! And the idea has me all excited! But why stop there?! My kitchen resembles a natural disaster after meals. How simple would my life be if I could just power wash it and walk away!
I think my remodeling ideas have merit! What I need is some evil renovating genius to come in, take over, and make my house a boy home...complete with some kind of turf for my backyard (and maybe a padded room with Velcro walls, a ball pit, and maybe a punching bag). This is my S.O.S call to any of you HGTV/TLC/home makeover/hottie carpenter TV programming people. I need a dude-haven home makeover! If you need to let your inner boy out or get in touch with your inner rough-and-tumble, this challenge is for you.
I don't even think these are wishful thinking indulgences...we are talking practicality here. Someone, anyone...how do I get my hands on a urinal?!
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