Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Holy Crap...What If It Is A Girl??!!

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see a snapshot of my family and come to the conclusion that we are shootin' boys. With kiddo #4 I was certain I was carrying a little princess. However, when that teeny tiny peeny popped up on the ever-so-clear sonogram, I was, once again in my life, proven to be incorrect. Now I've just come to expect little dudes. Good thing I like little boys. Actually, I'm quite fond of all-things boy. I find humor in their weird, dirty, stinky ways. I find comfort in the fact that nothing (so far...everybody knock of wood!) is new to me anymore. I have this boy-thing completely figured out...for the most part (well, until my oldest boy becomes a young blossoming man, and then I may need to call in reinforcements!) We tackle, fart, wrestle, roll in dirt, put holes in the walls, run, scream, and have energy to spare. It's ALL I KNOW.

So even though I'm 99% sure I'm creating boy #5 as we speak...er type...there is the teeniest, tinniest, ever-so-small chance that maybe, just maybe, we made a girl. And it scares the hell out of me! We are leaving the sex a surprise...one that will eventually be revealed. It's only a matter of time. And let me tell you that from my experience, God has a much different sense of humor than we do. I learned this very clearly when a certain stick turned blue about 33 weeks ago!

Back to my panic-stricken state! I know nothing about girls! Ok...yes, I am a girl, but I didn't raise me. I was someone else's nightmare..um joy! I know dude...and I know it well! I am dumbfounded by the idiosyncrasies of girls, scared by their unusual emotional fluctuations, and secretly enamored with the idea of their cute clothes (don't tell the hubby). But that doesn't mean I would know what to do with one! Yeah I could dress one super adorable...but that is the extent of my knowledge!! I'm runnin' scared people!

What on earth am I going to do if the doctor indeed says, "It's a girl"???? I'm the queen of my castle, and I like it that way. In no way, shape, or form am I ready to be dethroned by a tiny princess. There are ZERO granddaughters on either side of our family. Everybody shoots dudes!! So the grandmas are a little too eager for a baby sans penis. And the hubby has made it very clear that his heart's desire is a daughter to which he can be wrapped around her little pinkie! If I fail in producing a weenie-whacker clad baby and indeed pop-out a mini yanna benieni clad chica, I will be dethroned and crown removed before my legs are even out of the stirrups!!

Not only will I be forced to deal with my imminent removal from the throne, I will also have to figure out how on earth to navigate the world of girl. I'm clueless! I'm going to need books, advice, suggestions...and clothes! Like I said...for almost 13 years all I've known is BOY. My house screams boy...clothes, blankets, toys, schedules, activities! I'm nervous...at some point I'm pretty sure this baby is going to vacate the premises, and the hint of possibility that this could maybe be a girl...has me scared to death!


Johi said...

I'm just going to say it. I hope it is a girl! Don't stone me! Shopping partner, manis and pedis, someone who doesn't turn every toy into a gun, princess to your queen, someone on your side! I think a girl would be precious! But, I'll love your baby no matter the sex..... :)

Emily said...

I don't have any girls either so I can tell you when we had boy number three I was terrified and a little excited at that thought that it might be a girl but I think I was more relieved then anything when we found out it was a boy. I'm clueless too. You'll do just fine if you have a girl I'm sure. Plus with that many brothers she's bound to love a lot of the same things that they do.

Big Fat Gini said...

Eh, you'll be fine! And think of all of the big brothers she'll have to protect her and beat up potential boyfriends!

Brandi said...

I was scared to death when I found out my #4 was a girl, but oh my goodness, I can't even express in words how awesome it is! I am totally captivated by her. She's SO different from her brothers, it's like she has turned me into a panicky first-time mom again. LOL. I couldn't have ever imagined it would be this fun to have a girl. :)