Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Who am I? (Part 2 of 3)

(continuation from Part 1 posted on Monday, October 4, 2010)


"I", like everyone else, entered the world as an innocent and easily influenced person. "I" was shaped and molded into an image continually shadowed by the portrait of a statuesque desire. The vision of the statue has a constant plague in my life dooming me for failure...in my eyes. I struggle to change myself to conform to the views of society. I make gallant efforts to become another image of excellence all the while quieting the person I could be.

Constantly, "I" struggle to escape the bondage of life, but I have already entered a life of lies. The lies that bind and determine how I am perceived by others. It is not me though, now I am a depiction of a life no longer in my control. Only in the darkness am I no longer constricted by the straight-jacket of my daily life that I have personally, yet subconsciously developed. Confusion is no longer a question but an inevitable cause to my actions. I look without seeing, and I hear without listening. The displacement from my life is slowly yet steadily burning into my conscious being, and happiness is an unreachable luxury lingering in the distance like a mirage on the horizon. To comfort myself, I plunge deeper into who I am not, ignoring the constant reminder of who "I" am.

Society is numb to the presence of my heartache and confusion. I am but a face; another willing prisoner that has succumbed to the picture of "perfect". My smile is bright and tenacious as I vivaciously work every day. Unwaveringly I enter the streamline of people rushing to work, determined to leave my mark in the world. All along, my life conforms to the skeleton-like structure followed by the rest of society. Yet, "I" am seen as "my own person" creating my individual success. The revelation of true life is unbeknownst to us as we falter to make an unhindered appearance.

Yet, we are "happy". Never having a chance to become acquainted with ourselves, we do not long for that missing person. Our views are similar to those of our neighbor, thus, we get along. We look the same...we talk the same...we expect the same things. This pattern continues throughout our lives, and we accept it because it is "who we are"...and it is safe. We change ourselves so we can be alike. We change, however, only in retrospect to how we are perceived. We allow the notion of "fitting in" to hover over us shadowing the "me's" yearning to be set free...........


(to be continued)

4 comments:

Jocelyn said...

Hi Crystal,

Wow, what a writer you are! You should write a book! :)

Thank you for stopping by Hip Mama's Place. Life is strange and the experiences we encounter make us what we are. :)

SassySillySpunky said...

I can relate to what you are saying here. Thanks for that :)!

K said...

I'm rather proud my FBBF (future bloggy best friend) is such a great writer...and so very apt at self reflection.
~K
PS-did you get my email? I never know, when I send from my phone.

Shelby Bukhenik said...

I like the idea of this post, but I definitely wouldn't be able to construct it as eloquently as you!