Friday, February 4, 2011

My Kids Are Frickin' Funny

* TJ (4yo) was running down the hallway and jumping over daddy (daddy is a long a triple jump coach at the high school)
daddy says, "you need to drive that knee a little more buddy!"
TJ pipes in, "I don't have a steering wheel on my knee daddy!" 
Duh daddy!!!!!

*Teagan (2yo) told mommy to "Suck it! Suck it, mommy!!" He was holding out his newly-found-once-discarded old sucker.

*We were watching the playoffs and our 7yo kept hearing the announcer talk about one of the teams quarterbacks. When he tried to say the name it came out "Motroplosberger" and then later as "Broccolisberger" son that would be "Roethlisberger"!!

*TJ (4yo) was running through the house-  he does that a lot. I was cleaning up a lotion mess from the 2yo. TJ had to run around me, and as he did he stated very annoyed at my incredulousness, "you gotta watch where you're going mommy!"

* I was trying to give my 7yo a human anatomy lesson. We are looking at the veins on my hands and arms, and I'm trying to explain the cardiovascular system (much easier said than done...kudos to teachers everywhere!) I tried to explain that there are veins everywhere going back and forth to and from the heart. In the infinite wisdom of a little boy he looks at me mischievously and asks, "even on my weener?" and runs off to the bathroom. Awesome! Are all boys like this......or just mine???

* The 4yo doesn't wipe his own butt. It's still my job. However, the 2yo thinks that anything going on in the bathroom and all-things-poo need to have his stamp of approval. Whenever the 4yo yells, "mom, you gotta come see this great poop!" My dedicated poo inspector races to get to the bathroom to investigate, congratulate, and supervise the dismount and wiping process!

This is how the scenario plays out: TJ (4yo) assumes the position which is brown-eye pointing skyward while hands are holding his ankles. Mommy straddles said 4yo in order to have more control, to ensure adequate cleaning, and keep the 4yo focused! 2yo (who's head is now at the same level of his brother's skyward-facing naked butt) leans in about 3 inches from the area under investigation and watches dubiously as the process unfolds. Every....single....time! And then we all cheer and say goodbye to the poop....every...single...time!!

If laughing keeps you young....then my kids at the best anti-aging technique out there!!


Bobbi said...

LOL! Kids are hilarious! I love your comments, they always make my day! As for the iPhone, I don't have one YET. My husbands philosophy is, happy wife, happy life. If I nonchalantly repeat something I want, I end up getting it, it may take a while, but it usually works! I also give the guilt trip, you get everything you want, I don't ask for much, I deserve it! :) Let me know if any of this works! Have a great day! ♥ BJ

Ange said...

Your son is not alone. My three boys are totally obsessed with their penises. Just wait though, the obsession gets bigger with time... my husband is also infatuated with his as well.

Johi said...

lol! Thing 1 requires me to congratulate him after every bm too~ will this end any time in the near future?

The Hockey Wife said...

I had to laugh out loud we are still in charge of my son's wiping. You don't know how many times I have been upstairs, ignoring my screaming kids...when 20 minutes later I realize he has been sitting on the toilet trying to get me to wipe him...ooops!

Since you were the first to make me laugh out loud today, I would like to give you an award I had received (if you are into that sort of thing)...It is the LOL AWARD. Please look at my post at and you will see the post. On the sidebar is the award...cut and paste it. There are rules that are supposed to go with the award, but you can do that if you would like. I felt compelled to do it, as I got it from Your choice, no pressure. I will be stealing your button and adding you to the list of you can see this is not just a ploy to get you to see my blog (sneaky, eh?)

Oh yeah, you can delete this if you think I am crazy...but I promise I was really laughing about the wiping post!!


Heather M said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! tooo funny!!! I look forward to stories like this!!! I hope you have a great weekend!

Summer Dawn said...

I bet your 2 year old will potty train well with this great teaching method. My 2 year old loves to see her sisters poos. She always says they look like ice cram cones. Kids, they are pretty funny!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Excellent post! You have given me a good laugh, thanks. Love your 4yo's comments about veins! And my daughter (who is 11 and autistic), enjoys asking me to inspect her poo. I never do of course, but she likes to try!!

Have a great weekend. Found you through weekend blog hops.CJ xx

Boobies said...

Bwhahahaha!! From the mouth of babes!

ALL boys are obsessed with their wieners. Come to think of it...they NEVER grow out of that.

PS-I still have to wipe my 4 year old. What can ya do?

Missy@Wonder, Friend said...

All boys. All of 'em are like that. I never imagined having so many conversations about the parts... Life with boys!

Cute post. I love the things kids say. We laugh all the time. Reason enough to having them! ;-)

ModernMom said...

lol Thanks for the giggles and glad your wee ones are keeping you in stiches")

Tanya (a Taste of T) said...

Ooohhhh so cute. I can't wait to be a mom!

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Brandi said...

Okay, it's settled then. Yes, ALL boys are like that! OMStars. I will just leave it to your imagination what you will be hearing in the coming years. My oldest boy is 10.

Funny stuff! Thanks for the laugh. ;)

Shell said...

Oh, they are so funny!

I laughed the hardest at the weiner thing- b/c my boys are all obsessed with theirs.

Shalyn said...

This is the cutest thing- I can't wait to have kids that crack me up like this everyday!

You leave the SWEETEST comments on my blog- they are very appreciated:-)

You have an adorable family!

Melissa E. said...

You will have to remind them of the poopy cheering when they're teenagers. Preferably in front of their girlfriends. ;)

I just wish my two year old would do ANYTHING on the potty.

Ms. Sarah said...

To funny. Boys are great for laughs. Your not alone in the weiner department. Mine are fans of thiers