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I am a SAHM of 6 little dudes. My hubby's jobs require him to be away from home way more than I would like leaving me to fly solo more often than not. Since Dr. Phil won't return my calls, and Oprah has unfriended me, my therapy has now gone public! Here is where I go to receive cheap advice, reassurance and hopefully share some laughs. Honeslty, I'd love to make you laugh until you pee! So come, grab a cup of coffee (or vodka) and join in the conversation!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Throw Me In The River

Hubby, #1 and I were watching something random on TV one night after the 3 youngest had already gone to bed. And somehow the subject of an urn, what it is and its purpose became our topic of conversation. Don't ask why we were talking about this with or around our son...just go with it. Hubby cringed and stated matter-of-factly that he wants to be buried in the Black Hills National Cemetery. No "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" for my man! But he doesn't want anything flashy either...just to be quietly laid to rest with fellow veterans. This was all stated very light-hearted as our 12 year old was a part of the doomsday conversation.

I, on the other hand, don't have any strong feelings one way or the other. So I stated that I was totally OK with my family deciding to cremate me...hence the urn conversation came full circle. #1 thought having my ashes loving placed on our mantel in a vase (his words not mine) was disgusting and looked at me as if I was an alien mutant asking to stay for supper. In order to regain his favor, I offered a secondary option of "disposal", if you will, for my ashes. Since my family loves to camp I excitedly told them to sprinkle me in the Black Hills Forest where we camp...of course, this would have to be done on the sly since I'm sure it is a Federal Offense to sprinkle your dead relatives ashes amongst the campground.

However, federal offense aside, I added some stipulations to how and where my ashes could be dumped. I forebode hubby from dumping me in the fire pit because I watched my boys pee on the fire pit to put the fire out last camping trip, and I am somewhat weirded out by people roasting marshmallows over me (as should be the future campers of the campsite where I'm dumped!). With that said, I offered up the suggestion of sprinkling me in the trees that my boys like to hike. But then it occurred to me that people and animals do, indeed, sh*t in the woods. I grabbed hubby's arm and told him not to sprinkle me where people or animals are going to "do their business". I don't want to be pee-ed on! I wanna rest in peace not pees! My son laughed, and hubby looked at me exasperated and jeered, "You're high maintenance even when you're dead!" And with that he and #1 continued to laugh at me and joke about my apparent level of required maintenance....living or dead!!

10 comments:

Johi said...

Lol! That does pose a problem....

blueviolet said...

This made me laugh so much! I definitely want to be cremated too, but now you've got me wondering where a safe sprinkle spot is! Doggone you!

Heather M said...

HAHHA!!! This is great, you are so funny, you made death funny! I love reading your posts!! <3

Shell said...

LMAO @ rest in pees!

Kandy said...

your post made me giggle... I would TOTALLY be weirded out if I knew I was toasting marshmellows over some dead dude... glad you declined on that idea ;)
Followed you via FTLOB Thirsty Thursday

Mothers' Hideaway said...

Oye! I get so worried about even thinking about that! AHHHH. You do realize that fish poop in the river?

Boobies said...

LOL!
High maintenance even in death...I LOVE IT!

KLZ said...

That's totally reasonable! Hmph. High maintenance my patootie, no one wants to wallow in pee.

Katie said...

Oh my gosh Crystal you're too much! You had me laughing, go figure the talk of death could bring a smile to someone's face! I love how you wouldn't want to be sprinkled where the boys peed, LOL! Classic conversation hehe

xoxo
Katie

Helena said...

This is a funny picture and I thoroughly enjoyed the fun moment of family banter. It was one of those moments when it just works and all are thoroughly entertained. You were definitely the center of it! You rock, Mom!

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