Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I've Fallen For You

I think I've mentioned before that I am not the most graceful debutante at the ball....but that has clearly never left me being one of the lonely wall flowers. It's my charisma that draws them in...not my clutsy that sends them running! I convinced my hubby- then just another boy on our University track team- to accompany me to the track party. He tells the story differently, but I think he was so enamored with my awesomeness that it took some persuasion on my part to convince him that he should attend afore mentioned party on the arm of an older girl. No accidents happened that night, but in the woo-ing weeks that followed I managed to inflict much injury. A hurdle-ing crash that caused whiplash ( I kid you not...ouch!) and one that left my delicacies bruised from front to back (more ouch) were apparently all part of my master plan. My overall charm and hilarity left him smitten (and just a little cautious)...and the rest is history. We've been married for 11 years and have joined our DNA 4 times!

He was quite the doting hubby during pregnancy #1. Always worried about what and when I ate, made sure that HE cleaned the house so I didn't breathe in any chemicals, rubbed my feet without complaint, and made sure he followed orders to-a-tee when we were decorating our home (this was most assuredly because he wanted to keep me off chairs and step stools). I had it so good...I'm not sure what I did to change this desired behavior, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.

With pregnancy usually comes unsteadiness, what with our blossoming belly, boobs, butts...all things 'b' seem to expand, widen, and bloom! However, I had a pretty uneventful 9 months.  Maybe pregnancy and increased hormones actually added to my slim-to-none levels of gracefulness. One can dream, right? I thought I was pretty invincible...class all day, supper for my man once he got home, and then we set out for our 3 mile "walk"...hubby says it was more like a sprint....potato, potahto. Pregnancy shmregnancy! I wasn't going to turn into that incapable pregnant lady, and I was bound and determined to fit back into pre-baby clothes at record pace. Hence, our walks needing to be daily and intense!

The night before our due date was cold and blusstery in northern South Dakota but walk we must. I was still under the impression that I could walk that baby out (or drink enough raspberry tea, or take a hot enough bath, or ride in a bumpy car....you get the idea) so I demanded that hubby (actually, we weren't married yet....sooooo....baby daddy) bundle up and escort me on my walk. He reluctantly lead the way as I gracefully-burgeoning tummy and all- trotted behind him. We lived on the third floor so stairs were a daily chore. As I went to skip down the stairs my foot slipped, and I bounced all the way down and past baby daddy who totally forgot to catch me! Think Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory....that's how round I was with baby #1. So you can imagine how gloriously my body bounced down those stairs. The sight....hilarious. But my backside begged to differ! Hubby-er- baby daddy only giggled a little until common sense kicked in and he realized his uber preggo baby mama just fell down a flight of stairs! In his defense....I probably would have laughed at him if the shoe was on the other foot. Falls are funny! Except when it's a pregnant lady!!

Baby and mommy were fine....albeit, my ego - and backside- were quite bruised...and my tailbone was broken! However, that bumpy ride did not encourage our precious bundle to make an appearance anytime soon. That little dude hung out for another 10 days until we forced him out with friendly fire! My hubby now loves to re-tell my falling down the stairs fiasco (wait....haven't I fallen down the stairs into hubby another time????).....and I love to remind him how he failed to catch me (again)...as is the duty of all expectant fathers!

9 comments:

Johi said...

I wouldn't let him live that one down!
Do you think there is a chance that we might be sisters? Mine is far too athletic to actually be related to me. Was your father ever a Schwan's delivery man in Southeast Iowa?

Heather M said...

Hehe!!!! Im a huge klutz too! I fell out of a truck backwards during my first trimester, my hubby was sooo upset at me! You always make my day!

The Mommy Mambo said...

Oh geez! You've really got 2 left feet?!

My hubs would have ducked and ran if I fell toward him during my first pregnancy. With twins weighing 6 lbs each (two babies, placenta, water, etc. ---you do the math..) I think he would have hollered "TIMBER" and heard those cartoon whistles!

Boobies said...

You poor thing!! I also fell down the stairs while pregnant...and the kicker is, I have a broken tail bone but have no clue how it happened...maybe it was that fall? Crazy!!

Nichole said...

Okay, I know that I'm totally supposed to be giggly at the image of you bouncing down the steps.
And I'm sure that I will...once I stop laughing about you calling him "baby daddy." Seriously, I'm crying here.
Love this post! :)

Megan said...

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Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

Oh my gosh, I'm a total klutz too! I was so paranoid with both of my pregnancies because I knew my big belly would only make me clumsier. :)

KLZ said...

My gynecologist could simply not figure out how I fell down ao often during pregnancy. I said "it's like this all the time, dude"

TexaGermaNadian said...

Haha, oh my goodness! I am so glad you were ok! Between "pregnancy brain" and "pregnancy balance" I don't know if I will ever make it when I am there, haha