I'm a super competitive person. Right, wrong, or indifferent...I want to win. Whether it's in sports, cooking, organizing, child rearing, arguments...you name it and I want to be the best at it. I actually struggle with being beat...at anything. So you can only imagine how difficult it is to sit and play board games with my boys and to LET.....THEM....WIN. It's part of the unspoken mom code....we don't get to win! I've played and lost countless games of Candy land, Chutes and Ladders, UNO attack, Bingo, Old Maid, Slap Jack, and War. It comes with the territory...but I don't have to like it!
For as long as I can remember I've had this unnatural desire to win. That is probably why I had much success in athletics. If you are going to compete against me, you better bring your "A" game because I don't believe in the mercy rule. You can say or think what you want about this behavior, but it is what it is. Of course, I've learned to control it...somewhat...but the fact remains that I am a winner...and I like it like that.
The problem comes into play when my guttural desire to win gets in the way of reasoning and logical thinking. Now, I don't ever do anything dishonest, deceitful, or that which would be considered cheating in order to win. But I can get quite cranky when not on a winning team or if beaten by a respected opponent. I'm not angry with anyone but myself....ok, maybe a little bit at the other competitor or my teammates that didn't preform as expected.....but mostly myself! And I very often have to squelch my winning desire when watching my children compete. That can be quite the challenge. I have pretty competitive kiddos who have been blessed with the gift of athletic talent. And I want them to win! Even though we learn WAY more from losing than winning.....I want to win!
I've learned and perfected the art of being a graceful loser, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. And I teach my boys that "winning isn't everything", how to handle a loss, and to be humble in a win...all because I now know better as an adult. And I don't want my boys to fixate on winning....although the high of an amazing win is somewhat addictive. I guess it's just part of growing up, learning lessons, and wisdom gained. But let's be honest...life is about black and white, right and wrong, winner and losers.
Don't you want to be a winner too???? Do you enjoy the thrill of victory??? Or am I alone in my competitive tendencies???