Saturday, March 12, 2011

I've Gotta Mystery To Solve

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails....boys will be boys....the devil made him do it.

OK maybe that last one can refer to little girls too. I know they aren't full of sugar and spice all of the time. Plus, I had an in-home daycare full of little girls and, trust me, their halos are just as crooked as boys if not more so. Be that as it may, I have a lot of experience with the destructive ways of little boys. I have four of them...and one big one, but I digress! Tackling, jumping, diving, crashing, throwing, wrestling! The atrocities that my poor house has had to endure at the hands of the cutest four boys around are almost unmentionable.

I've confessed- complained really- before that having boys brings with it challenges all its own. My bathroom is assaulted daily. My couch cushions must have wronged furniture-royalty in another life because they are vandalized constantly. And I don't even want to talk about my carpet. Just the other day I watched my son (for the sake of his embarrassment I will not divulge which son) flick a booger across the room.....and then laugh and do a little pick-it, flick-it song and dance! I'm not sure if mama's of girls have to endure such torture.

That's just the assault of my home. My boys are a little rough on their own things as well....namely, toys! Good thing we have an over abundance of them because the trash-monsters are here to stay. Each of my boys has a "box of men" that they have received from "Grandma on the farm". Their boxes are full of rescue and army men about 3 inches tall. My boys LOVE them. They play with them constantly. You could dump any one of the boxes out and find men missing arms and legs, random heads, and broken body parts galore. We have trucks and cars missing wheels and accessories, puzzles that will never again be whole, and containers full of toys with missing or broken pieces. None of that seems to bother's just how boys play. But I was shaken to my mom-core the other morning when I came out into the kitchen to start some much needed coffee only to discover this:
A half-a-Velma! People! Where's the rest of her? Why just Velma? What about Fred or Shaggy? Nope...just the smart nerdy one (I take offense to this....just so you know)...broken in half....laying haphazardly under my kitchen table....completely discarded. Boys....a creature all their own! I can't explain their nuances....I'm just trying to survive!


Sandra said...

OMG this is a fantastic post! And so funny: half a Velma, the nerdy one!
If it makes you feel any better, being the mother of three boys, I can attest to the fact that whoever the culprit was probably didn't discriminate when hacking her in half. Fred or Shaggy probably would have suffered the same fate.

Slidecutter said... questions are...what did the little dude-devils use to hack poor Velma in half and, where oh where, did her bottom go? son, when little, used to hide the yolks from all the Easter eggs in his basket; only ate the white part. When taking his room apart, (regularly) small, shriveled masses of yuck would appear under his bed, in his drawers and in with his Matchbox cars...

Still am curious about Velma's hacking though...


Victoria said...

haha I can't imagine having 4 boys! I guess that's why we have husbands right? Or maybe they just encourage it... My house is messy enough as it is, when we have kids it'll be so much worse... I'm so not excited about that.

Love that half-a-Velma... The way you write is so funny!

Found you through Comment Love Sunday!!

Jenna said...

Haha I can't imagine having one kid right now let along four boys!... Poor Velma, the nice ones always get the worst of it!

ps Popping by to spread the love from FTLOB :)

Melissa E. said...

Why is it always the girl action figures suffering the abuse? LOL My son did something similar to his elmo, and he's only two, so I'm sure sharp implements weren't involved. Weird how little boys can figure out how to destroy things so easily.

Johi said...

My precious treasures destroy EVERYTHING so I can understand.
Poor Velma. Actually, I found her kind of annoying so I was (now not so)secretly satisfied when I saw her like that. I know. A lot of people wonder what is wrong with me.

b. lee said...

LOL * funny stuff!!

The Mommy Mambo said...

HAHA! Girls have cooties, she needed an operation to remove them. LOL

Love the new look!

Mommy Nani Booboo said...

Not Velma!
Absolutely NO mysteries will be solved without Velma around.

Lola said...

Hmmmm...sounds to me like you need to have the "bullying" talk. Apparently they picked on the weak link. The nerd. The nebbish. The tool. The dork. The dweeb. The geek. The know-it-all. Hell, I think she may have deserved it.

K said...

While shopping at TJ Maxx on Friday, I'm flipping through clothes and A comes up to me pointing her finger. I look at her, uncomprehending, until she says "Look! There's a booger! Get rid of it!" There is literally NOTHING to wipe it with, so I grit my teeth and manage to kinda scrap it into the 5th pocket of my jeans (since I never use it, and it'll come out in the wash....right?) I shake my head and go back to shopping. A few minutes later I feel a tug on my pants and see A pulling her finger out of the pocket. "What?" she says. "There was another one!" I give her my deadpan look and just say "Seriously?" She gives me a sheepish grin and replies "April Fool?"

So...yes...girls do it too.