Sleep Like A Baby

Whoever coined that expression was an idiot. Have you ever tried to sleep with your precious slumbering child? Of course you have! We all love snuggling with our comatose offspring. They look so peaceful and sweet and lingering just above their dozing little heads is the most perfect shiny halo. At least in theory, that is, because they are only tranquil limp noodles until mommy climbs into the bed to catch some zzzz's for herself! In all reality, sleeping kids are wild, noisy, and somewhat dangerous! And sleep, for mommy anyway.....forget about it!

I have tried many a time to enjoy the presence of a sleeping itty bitty in my bed. But no matter how hard I try to bask in their dozing state, they never fail to pop my bubble of perceived stillness with a kick here, a wallop there, a smack in the kisser, or a pull of my hair....all while they are presumably asleep and peaceful. Not only is a child in one's bed dangerous to your health, they are noisy. I have discovered since becoming a mommy, every nighttime creek, wiggle, cough, sigh, sniffle, and wheeze echoes throughout our quiet home. My ears seem to have acquired super-human ability to hear all-things-child. It must be part of the mom-curse our own mothers placed upon us. I haven't slept soundly in over 12 years!

However, I seem to be a glutton for punishment. Every time daddy is gone, I invite my tiny terrorists into my bed to torture my sleep and disturb my slumber. I bring it on myself placing one or more in the bed and another on the floor. Silence sure is noisy when in the presence of my sleeping babes! Every movement is amplified, every sniffle or fart booms, and the battle against mommy's body is brutal....all....night....long. They all awake at the first hint of morning with renewed energy and spirit. While mommy is left in a sluggish, bruised state with a hint of cranky! Only, I fail to learn my lesson as I willingly invite those nighttime Nazis back into my sanctuary the next time daddy is gone. I am apparently intoxicated by the alluring facade a sleeping child creates. They exude peace, tranquility, and serenity....which is disarmed and transformed into the Tasmanian devil the moment mommy succumbs to the inebriating effects of somnolence!

Sleep, sweet sleep! You are but a fools folly!