A couple weeks ago hubby brought home a germ...a germ of all germs. Somehow in the 48 hours that it dwelled in my loving hubby, it mutated and became drug-resistant, and then took up residence...in me! For two weeks now I have been a super un-sexy, phlegm producing, Vick's smelling, loogie coughing-up wife. And I've contemplated throwing an all-out adult tantrum! Nothing seems to provide any relief. NyQuil, Robitussin, and Sudafed have failed in the battle against the mucus monster that I have become. Rudolph's services won't be needed to find my home...my bright red shining nose can light the way all by itself. And if Santa can't possibly see my shiny, blown-too-many-times nose, then he will surely be able to smell the Mentholatum that has become my signature scent from miles and miles away.
Every night I throw back a shot of NyQuil and toast the hopes of a good night of sleep. Then slather -from head to toe- my body with Vick's. If some is good, then A LOT has got to be better, right? With Breathe-right strip in place and steamer blasting, I suck on my Hall's cough drop while propped up with pillows optimistically hoping it will deter my cough and gain a few precious hours of sleep. I'm sure my hubby is struggling to resist the sexiness of his wife!
But every night the same result...coughing and gagging on mucous and phlegm that refuses to loosen or vacate the premises. Hubby, convinced he is married to a Phlegm producing monster, has invested time, energy, and money into supplying our ever-growing-array-of-medicines in our medicine cabinet in hopes to cure t"he crud" that has overtaken his wife. He lovingly rubs my back as I gag and cough and sniff and snort and asks if there is anything he can do to help (secretly he knows that no "boom-boom" will happen while the mucous maintains-nor would he want to)!
I've become my own pharmacist mixing different concoctions and drinks hoping something-anything- will cut through the phlegm. Water, honey, lemon, tea...I've become a human experiment. And nothing has given positive results for any length of time. So I sit here hoping that I can wake up in 2 days to a Christmas miracle...able to get through presents without gagging, coughing, blowing my nose, or choking down another clump of phlegm.
Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good (not coughing, choking, moaning, gagging) night!