My Kids Crack Me Up....It's Why I Drink Wine!

* When #2 was 5 he picked up a discarded nut-cup off the floor (happens more than you think...don't ask) and put it over his face and started talking through it like Darth Vader. I screamed at him (it wasn't even HIS), "Tys, your breathing someone else's penis air!!" My dudes still laugh at me about that one.
* #3 was standing w/his pants and undies by his ankles (again...happens a lot), no shirt on, playing with his yo-yo. No that's not what we call it in our house- that would be a weenie whacker! He was actually playing with a real yo-yo..but it was the best sight!
* #3, currently 4 years old, is always shoving his knee or hand in his mouth. When I asked him why he was exhibiting such strange behavior, he stated simply and very matter-of-fact, "this is how I stay quiet". Well, carry on then buddy.
* Our family was talking about first kisses (trying to convince or persuade #1-who's almost 12- to stay away from girls...nothing but trouble as far as I'm concerned!). Our 7yo (#2) chimed in asking daddy if his first kiss was his mommy.....so sweet and innocent......testosterone will ruin that in future years.
* "bobbily girls" aka "Volleyball girls"- this is how #4 (currently 2yo) refers to daddy's team.
*"Nooooo-ahh" how that particular says "no".....all....day....long
* my current 7 year old (#2) was uncontrollably crying outside during a game of football with #1. He was upset that he lost his temper w/his brother. He felt terrible, hugged his big brother and asked him to forgive him. God truly has sent me angels!
* "Trie Scoots"- this is how #1 (almost 12!!) said "Triscuits". We still give him a hard time.
*the 2yo (#4) insists on checking his business every time I change his diaper. What's weird about that (he's a boy, give him a break) is that them he sticks his fingers in his mouth!
* my older 2 boys are baseball fanatics- both are catchers. This fact means that the afore mentioned nut-cup is necessary and very common in our home. I have no problem with that. What does tend to bother me is that #1 has NO PROBLEM whipping that bad boy out and setting it on my kitchen counter after a game or practice! WTH?!! I don't know about the rest of my family, but I could do WITHOUT the penis-flavored counter tops. Maybe it's just me???