Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Middle School is Tough

My oldest just got braces....and $5000 went racing out of our bank account! See how quickly that happened?! Anycrookedteeth, as parents it's just something you have to do....and pay for...and hold over their heads forever. But my poor kiddo is in misery. First off, he's not my toughest little man. And secondly, braces hurt...and make you talk funny but that's a totally different topic.

Being the amazing mama that I am, I told kiddo #1 that I would bring him a nice cold chocolate shake to school for lunch. He can't chew anything. I watched him choke down scrambled eggs for breakfast because it hurt too badly to attempt to chew. Pity took over...and of course my devoted love to my offspring...but mainly pity. My overly generous suggestion brightened his entire sad, I'm-in-the-worst-pain-of-my-life demeanor and lifted me to level of "Favorite Parent" (muwhahaha.....oh.....sorry!!)

With newly purchased McDonald's shake topped with whip cream in hand, I swaggered -confident I was going to get "mom of the year" for my gesture- into the middle school. I was certain I would be chided and showered with "What a good mom" and "Poor little guy" by the secretaries. However, to my dismay, the secretary (whom I'd never seen before) was in a state of shock and awe. By her expression and wringing of her hands you would have thought I had marched through those doors with peanuts in hand, threatening to throw them at unsuspecting children if my demands weren't met! She looked at me as if "how could you have the audacity to walk into this school with that?".

I was more than a bit confused...this wasn't a was ice cream. Pretty harmless. And it wasn't as if I marched into a preschool full of uncivilized toddlers and handed out only one cupcake. This was middle school....full of 12, 13, and 14 year olds. OK. So they could be classified as large toddlers...they still throw tantrums to get their way, they like to color outside the lines, so to speak, and they are defiant to authority. But a brawl over a milkshake might be pushing it a little far.

With my shocked face in place, I asked for my son...whom she wouldn't request to come to the office. Nope. She told me to wait at the corner until his class passed for lunch; she was sure I would see him. Not sure if I was sent to timeout or not, I stood there uncomfortable and fidgety...this IS middle school after all...until my kiddo saw me. She watched us the entire time as I gave my son his soup, shake and pain medicine to which he was very grateful and excited. I stood, defiantly almost, as he boasted to his friends about how "cool his mom was" while he joined them in their walk to the lunch room.

Not wanting to call any more attention to my obvious defiant and socially unacceptable behavior, I scurried out the front doors of the school to my car...and then cursed her all of the way home! Basically, I threw a tantrum after being scolded...but I don't think bringing a milk shake into a school is going to corrupt the system......but I've been wrong before.


Slidecutter said...

I would have dropped that wench on her ass!

Went through similar issues living here in Dogpatch when our son was in middle school and, with some miserable, menopausal, frumpy, redneck secretary who wouldn't allow me to give John meds for his ADHD or leave same with the school nurse. Like, WTF?

Go buy two shakes next time, give one to that bitchy secretary, only lace it with some laxatives. Might help take a load off (or out) of her personage and make her a more reasonable human being.


Bethany said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I can't even imagine how that must have felt. I have much empathy for your firstborn. Hopefully the worst of the pain is over in a day or two. Too bad finances don't recover so fast.

Christi said...

You've been awarded the versatile blogger award... see my blog for details

Elizabeth said...

You are the best mom ever!

I had braces as a kid and I hated them! I also had headgear which was SO painful in the beginning. My mom and I would always stop at Wendy's for those chocolate slushy things. Some of my best memories.

Big Fat Gini said...

McDonald's is the devil. Don't you know that? Seriously, there are so many ridiculously stupid rules to follow when it comes to food at my son's school I want to scream.

And you're right. This age IS hard. I'm not all that fond of it honestly. Especially now that I have to pay for braces too...

Heather said...

Next time bring her one. I have found at my own school that the best way to calm the front office beast is with free snacks.
You are so nice. I always remembering my mom fixing steak or something on the nights I had my braces tightened and couldn't eat.

Amy said...

My parents gave me braces ON MY BIRTHDAY. Yeah enjoying all the cake and candy my parents had bought for me? Um no. I couldn't eat ANYTHING. And my dad had been assured my mouth would be "just fine" after the procedure so he wouldn't reschedule. After watching me sob as I took teeny tiny pieces of donut drenched in milk so I wouldn't have to chew he was so angry at the orthodontists office for lying to him that he was about to march back and demand they take them off. My less pitying parent, my mom, said ever so helpfully I'd get over it. But every time they got tightened or arranged my dad mentally told himself to buy lots of milkshakes for the freezer. I really hope to never have to impart this torture on my kids. (By the way I had an awful orthodontist and once done my teeth weren't straight at all. He'd corrected my over bite, but now my teeth were laying over and across each other because my mouth had no room. I am even more embarrassed of how my teeth look now then I was before braces).

Johi said...

I hope you stuck your tongue out at her from your timeout corner. lol!

Melissa E. said...

Why did she care about a stinking milkshake? She's obviously never had braces. Ouch!

Seriously, I work in an elementary school. You should SEE the things in our teacher's lounge everyday. They make a milkshake look like a healthy lunch. Yesterday there was an entire apple pie, and every Friday they have a "breakfast" potluck of everything from taco dip to full blown cakes and cookies.

Ashley said...

You are such a great mom! I hate judgey wenches like that secretary!

Ms. Blasé said...

"and lifted me to level of "Favorite Parent" (muwhahaha.....oh.....sorry!!)"

Ah, yes. The competitive spirit rears its head yet again :0)

And speaking of the shake, that chick was just mad 'cause you didn't bring her one. End of story.