Thursday, April 28, 2011

Sleeping Beauty - Mama Kat's

I am linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I'm using a post I have previously written because it fit the prompt so perfectly. 3.) What is going on in the bedroom? Describe a memorable sleeper.
Mama’s Losin’ It
 
I am a fairly low maintenance gal when compared to some of the demanding divas in this world. I can patiently wait while we save money for our home improvements. Some of my shirts and jeans are ones that were worn in college. And my shoes mainly consist of fuzzy blue slippers, flip flops, and sneakers (well, there is that one pair of over-the-knee boots...but that's a different story).

However, when it comes to my personal sleepy time and the rules and regulations that coincide, I am slightly demanding and more than a little particular. I have lost way too many hours of sleep to uncomfortably-overdue-pregnant-body, sleepless newborns, and all-nighters with sick dudes to take the necessity for sleep lightly. It is a basic need to human survival, and I have learned that my body requires its undivided attention.

Have you ever seen "Dirty Dancing" when Johnny tells Baby "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't come into yours. You don't come into mine." OK that may not be the exact words but work with me. Instead of saying "dance", say "sleep". Do you get what I'm saying? I don't want anybody, ANYBODY, entering my sleep space. It is a sacred zone and not meant for visitors or intruders. I don't like to spoon, cuddle, canoodle, or whatever you want to call it. Sleep is for sleeping. I'm very specific about that...much to my hubby's chagrin.

No body parts or freezing cold appendages should cross the imaginary  (but still very real) line that exists down the middle of the bed once I have declared the commencement of sleepy-time. I do not appreciate anyone, either big or small, thinking that it's acceptable to lay their sweet (read heavy and hard to move), slumbering head upon my pillow. Sweet-nothings whispered into my ear are not required for me to drift into La-La Land. On the contrary, I prefer that no air be exhaled toward my designated sleep area at all. Stinky-breath is not conducive to a great night of sleep.

Also appreciated is the absence of air-floofing under the sheets and across the bed as you roll over or adjust your position. That cold rush of air agitates your sleeping mate's slumber by disturbing their optimal sleep-temperature. And if you have, heaven forbid, farted in my Black Friday sheets that stinky butt-air will smack your partner right in the face!

As you can plainly see, I have a couple stipulations when entering and trying to share my sleeping space. However, it is merely for the betterment of my family members and to spare them the negative results that occur when mommy receives either not enough or disturbed sleep. So my attention to detail is actually done to improve the general lifestyle of my spouse and offspring.

11 comments:

thepsychobabble said...

I hate cold feet. Luckily for me, I'm usually the one with the cold appendages, not him!

Emily said...

This totally makes my day because I feel the exact same way.

Em @ Inspired Coincidences said...

LOVE the Dirty Dancing reference, hilarious!!!

stopping by from Mama Kat's =)

Slidecutter said...

Wow, this is me, too! Don't invade my space, don't go NEAR my toothbrush with yours plus a multitude of other my space-infractions. I have that same line down the middle of our bed; an imaginary moat, filled with hungry Alligators that will rip hubs to pieces dare he cross into my territory.

As you can suffice, our honeymoon is loooooooong over, lol.

Love this post!

Hugs!
Patty

Grams said...

Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

I am so with you. I have exactly the same rules. I don't even want him breathing in my direction. Well said!

Jessica said...

i loved this! Sleep because so much more important when you are a mom! And the dirty dancing comment was so funny!

Jessica said...

I think you should have your sleep rules posted on the wall of your bedroom. I wish I could have my own personal sleep space.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am so glad you have such clean guidelines. I now what to think if I have some too.

Stacey said...

Amen!! My husband and I sleep under separate comforters even. I always tell him I love him, just not in the middle of the night. I won't sleep with my kids either. I'm just mean like that, I suppose!

Jenna said...

i sleep curled up in a quilt, my own side of the bed and my own covers. i hear you.

I'm Jennifer. said...

Hear hear! I am 100% with you on this post. For the most part my huz respects my sleep rules & my sleep space. But every time he rolls over he rocks the bed like crazy. Can't stand it. Think I have whiplash from it too!