Tuesday, April 5, 2011

How I Got My Funny Back

It's no secret, I've been in a funk lately. When reality landed on my front door, I was taken by surprise...and am now trying to lay the path for my new "normal". Days have been stressful, and even though I can't seem to shut off my mind, I've seemed to find some kind of refuge in the joy and laughter of my family. They say laughter is the best medicine...you be the judge!

* "You gotta cech it!"  said the 2yo blondie to mommy after he threw a rock in the house. That beautiful light blue rock was originally meant for some kind of decor as it so ironically had the word "Faith" engraved across the topside. "Faith" whizzed past my face and smashed into my new windows. "Petty. Petty Rock." (aka. pretty, pretty rock) Nothing like a little faith flashing before your eyes!!

* We were biking around our neighborhood on a quiet mid morning on a rare day that the sun was shining. The 4yo was a little ways ahead of myself and the take-his-time 2yo. A crow had just perched himself in the road when my 4yo targeted him and charged! Giggling, he turned back toward me with his big blue eyes and stated very proudly, "I scared the hell out of that bird!" Ya, sure did buddy!

* The 7 and 12 year olds were being silly. The 12 yo pulled his pants up really high over his stomach as the 7yo started to chant, "you're a ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

12yo, "I'm not a ho-ho-ho! You're a ho-ho-ho!"

Hubby and I chuckle because a) neither truly know the slang usage of the word and b) the 7yo is wearing a "Get Lucky" t-shirt that he acquired at a rummage sale! Bad parenting or just bad timing??!

* Hubby and I were recalling our first date, which was the movie Titanic, and sharing it with the kids over breakfast. At the mention of Titanic our 7yo looks up amazed and with complete sincerity asked, "You were on the Titanic!?!" 

I look at him astounded and sarcastically chide, "Yeah. I look pretty good for over 100 years old."

"I know! You're hair's not even that gray!" comments the apple of my eye....as his dad chokes on his cereal in little-boy fits of laughter!

* the 2yo had just gotten out of the tub and was laying on the couch naked waiting for someone to put clothes on him. He reclined back across the pillows..in his naked glory....and lovingly serenaded himself, "penis...penis...penis...penis" and on and on it went in his sweet little voice.

* the 2yo, 4yo and myself were playing in the bedroom and I was being silly. The 4yo laughed and said, "that's funny mom!"

"I'm a pretty funny person, buddy."

"You're not a person. You're a girl." Um. OK. Thanks for the clarification kiddo!

* my 4yo now insists that we call him by several names...and if we don't, he corrects us, "Mom. My name is TJ pterandadon speedy star". I'll let you guess which one is ACTUALLY his birth name!

* the 4yo (obviously he is our comic relief lately!!) looked up at me at a very random moment and stated with all of the certainty and knowledge that a 4yo can have, "Mom. God made me man." ooooooooo......kkkkkkkkkk

And last but not least...I have to pay a little comic homage to my ever-steady, never-changing hubby:

* he came home from 2 weeks of training very tired. We were discussing the upcoming deployment. I looked at him with my sad blue eyes and said, "babe, I only have a month with you until you're gone! You should give me a foot rub every night because I won't get to have one for another year!"

Hubby looked at me and said, "ok. But then I get a blow job every night too." Forget it. I'll rub my own frickin' feet!


Slidecutter said...

Holy crap! I was gliding along, reading this post, thinking "how cute, how funny" and when I got to the blow job part, well, I'm now wiping up coffee from my keyboard here at work.

You know, they always say that the way to a man's heart is a BJ...men being such undemanding creatures that they are...lolol

I'm quickly seeing a side of you that makes me heart you even more, lady!

Thanks for the smiles, I'm off to find some wipes...


The Mommy Mambo said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I love it all! A foot rub is so not an even trade. I don't blame you. Now through in full body rub, the laundry, bathing, and dinner for 2weeks and he might have a deal!

Love the "scared the Hell out of that bird!" classic!

Big Fat Gini said...

Oh my sides hurt! Cuteness!

And you know what, blow jobs are funny. I mean, really. If you can't joke about that, what can you joke about? ;O)

Heather said...

Ha! How cute. Except for your husband. Why in a male world does foot rub = oral sex??

(I am so impressed you can remember your kids antics. When I sit down to write about funnies I always forget what was so humorous!!)

Bethany said...

Oh. My. Gosh. That's funny.

The kids are pretty cute too.

Johi said...

I'm so glad to hear from you! I've been saying little prayers for you and all of your dudes. :) I was even planning on sending you an email today.
Your boys would have a great time hanging out with Thing 1 and coming up with ridiculous things to say. He has been full of them lately too. The "Get Lucky" shirt/ho ho ho thing really got me chuckling- so funny.
And about the bj... all I have to say is: *snort* MEN.

Amy said...

LOL!!!! Oh my gosh this post made my day!! And LOL, nice try hubs!

TexaGermaNadian said...

Hahhaha, oh my goodness, you have me cracking up! Wait, how did your 2yo hear that song from my husband?!! lol. Their obsession with it starts early, good to know.
I am so glad you are feeling back to your old self :) And, if you want, I will send you one of those water bath/foot massage-ers, haha. I heard they are great

Foursons said...

I'm w/Slidecutter. I was cruisin' right along enamored w/your cute children and then BOOM! Hahahaha. Leave it to a man.

K said...

Oh Thank the LORD! There you are! I lost you! Did you change your number? All my texts kept bouncing back and I was worried. Finally got online and couldn't remember the name of your blog! Googling "Crystal" did nothing either. :P I've been worried because I knew time was getting closer. :(

I seriously don't know what how I stayed entertained until I had a kid, too. :)

Brandi said...

Oh my gosh, too funny! And the last one? SNORT!

Ashley said...

Ha I love it! I think I've gotten "you're not a person, you're a girl" too!

Ms. Blasé said...

I've been EXTREMELY behind in reading posts, but I'm glad I stopped by today!!! This was totally worth it!!! That last one got me :)