Thursday, September 16, 2010

All the Sexy Mammas!

I wouldn't consider myself a sex vixen but I am a far cry from a plain Jane. My style is one all my own...sprinkle a dash of Victoria's Secret, a smidge of Forever 21 and large heap of Department store clearance apparrel and you've pretty much got it. We are a pretty frugal crew so Louis Vuitton handbags and designer shoes need not apply. However, for my last birthday- I turned 30....again- I splurged on a pair of over-the-knee, super high heel, zip up to there, black boots....for my husband, of course!

Got that image in your head?????? Ok. Now remember I am a flip-flop, jean short (or full blown jeans- it's cold here), and faded white T with a cute scarf kind of girl. But I still want to rock my man's world every now and then. I want him to be blown away occassionally and remind him that he married a sexy know, make him drool and chase ya down the hall (after you tuck in all 4 kids, let the dog out, bring the cat in, lock the windows and doors, pop a breath mint and quietly try to slip on something cute w/o hubby knowing about it....and before he falls asleep watching ESPN).

You also need to have a little background information regarding my gracefullness or lack there of. God has gifted and blessed me with many many things....but there wasn't any room left when it was time to add gracefulness. So sadly I have had to master this world on my own two klutzy feet. I fall, trip, stumble and crash constantly which has lead to whiplash (horrible college hurdling debacle, stitches, broken bones and numerous bumps and bruises-it truly keeps my Chiropracter in business!). It used to frustrate my hubby...but he now merely accepts it as one of my most adorable idiosyncrasies.

Ok now that you have been briefed and have somewhat of a klutzy girl-next-door image in your head, you are now ready to bask in the rest of my hilarious-albeit unfortunate- series of events.

I like to surprise my hubby every now and then with new "outfits" from our local lingerie know keep an element of surprise (frankly, I'm sure he has no idea which ones are new and which ones are "been there, done that"). It keeps him on his to speak. After putting the 1st and 2nd born sons to bed (3rd and 4th born have already been in bed for awhile) I sneaked (is it "sneaked" or "snuk"?? I digress) to our room (hubby was doing our budget at this point- so he didn't really pay much attention to what I was doing). I put on the new cute hot pink bra and panty and the sexy up-to-there (think "Pretty Woman") boots and walked (more like strutted in my sexiness) thru the living room and down the stairs to surprise my hubby. (Basically since the boots were sooo expensive I thought that if I made it about him, he would care less what they cost.) In my super sexy way (remember, I am NOT graceful),  I put my hand on the wall and waited for my hubby to melt. BUT I lost my balance and so as not to fall in my basically naked state, I gripped the window. Dilemma averted? Heck NO! I RIPPED THE TRIM OFF THE WALL!!! Hubby just looked at me laughed and said, "that's not very sexy honey" as he took the trim out of my hand......but he still took the bait and the purchase was never questioned!


kris said...

So much giggling!

I would feel ridiculous in sexy lingerie. And I would trip in those boots. I so would.

So funny.

Best part?

The happy ending.

I do like a happy ending.


Christy said...

ROFL! My dh has been wanting me to buy those boots for years. I think he needs to stop watching Angelina Jolie movies. I am waaay too practical for that. And I would probably break my ankle or neck trying it.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, Raising Knights!

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