Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Femme Fatale

I have always likened myself to "the girl next door", the "best friend", the Meg Ryan character in a movie...hardly romantic and far from the sex vixen likes of Angelina Jolie or Samantha on Sex and the City. The trials and tribulations of puberty didn't leave me with a new found sexual prowess or confidence as I had hoped. Instead I was left with a boyish figure, far from well-endowed, and devoid of femme fatale capabilities. Wasn't that supposed to be the reward for suffering through puberty and the woes of high school? On the contrary, I was still a nerd; albeit an athletic nerd, but still a nerd, and one that was a far cry from the sexy librarian or the naughty school girl fantasy.

Is it something only the lucky are born with, luck of the draw, a case of good genes? If it isn't something you're born with than it must be an attribute that can be acquired, learned, or discovered. But I am still at a loss as to how I go about getting in touch with my inner Jessica Rabbit. I've never known how to use my feminine wiles to my advantage...and without looking like a complete buffoon while attempting that feat. And you can forget about my ability to be a dominatrix behind closed doors.

At times, I feel bad that my hubby didn't get the golden ticket when he married me. No mystery or oozing seduction...no charm that ensnares my lover in the bondage of ecstasy and irresistible desire...no hypnotic beauty and sexual allure. Nope. I've tried...and fallen down the stairs half (ok- barely) dressed in Pretty Woman boots; I've gotten the costumes but was barely able to get into character without my insecurities reducing me to a giggling pubescent teenager, and I've considered buying the Flirty girl dance videos complete with stripper pole and lap-dance routines. But my inner prude is holding me back, and I would probably get hurt on the pole.

How do I grab my inner Cleopatra and seduce hubby in every sense of the word? I let my guard down one time for a quickie in the laundry room...only to scar my then 10 year old who came seeking us out to see what we were doing. With four kids, spur of the moment rendezvous, take-me-now passion, and care-free middle of the day romps are few and far between and closer to impossible than I would like. By the time the "to-do" list has been tackled and kids are in bed...both of us are exhausted. Quickies aren't fun and exciting when they are the norm. And most nights sleep beckons my name with more allure than the arms of my lover!

How can I get my groove back when I never really had one to begin with? I don't think I ever possessed unbridled female sexuality. Is there a femme fatale hiding dormant just waiting to be discovered and released? That is yet to be discovered, and until I can find my Sirens mentality, I will continue to fall exhausted into bed with guilt that I am not fulfilling my marital vows. The balance of super-mom and sex kitten is a tough one to conquer. But hubby deserves a little bow chicka wow wow every now and then. So today I am desperately seeking my Aphrodite alter-ego! I need to embrace my Delilah-esque, seductive enchantress, and surprise hubby with my lascivious fires of love......only in a smaller-heeled sexy boot!

12 comments:

blueviolet said...

It's very tough to relax and let loose when there are kids afoot. You need a weekend getaway to bring out your inner vixen!

Shell said...

I feel silly when I try to be sexy. But, my husband appreciates even my weak attempts...which gives me more confidence to try harder.

Cold As Heaven said...

For some it is like the more you get the more you want, or the less you get ... it fades out. But people are different >:)

Cold As Heaven

Heather said...

I can't tell if you are asking for advice or not......so feel free to ignore me if you want.

Think of it like working out. You don't go run a marathon without building up to it. So maybe start with something small sexy....a cute pair of undies or a teasing note in his wallet.
I have learned with my husband that pretty much ANY effort on my part is appreciated.

Johi said...

I love this post! ....and I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. Ugh. I think that we need to be physically removed from our homes~the dishes, the laundry, cleaning the ___________(fill in the blank) and our role of mom mom MOM! to find our inner sex goddess. I know I do!

Liz said...

I agree with blueviolet and try to schedule time away.

And bring some wine or champagne for a little liquid courage. :)

fancythatfancythis.com said...

I am a total nerd with a boyish figure..and as far as being endowed, I am an AAAA if such a thing exists. I wish I had advice to give you but my poor husband suffers as well so all I can say is: I can relate!

Hope that makes you feel a little better??

Boobies said...

In my current condition....my normally sexy self is away...but I have the utmost faith she'll return.

Advice? Love all the girls recommendations above. Think about the one thing that makes you FEEL the sexiest. It could be an outfit, a place, a scent...whatever it may be....take that and run with it! XO

The Blue Zoo said...

i agree with Blueviolet! I little weekend get away might be just what you need!

Greta: From Transparencies of Motherhood said...

Just like Shell, I feel silly when I try to be sexy. I"m honestly glad I'm not alone in that thought :) Great post!

ModernMom said...

Oh I am so glad we "found" each other! i love the way you right. When I am trying to find my inner Jessica Rabbitt...I find wine helps:) lol
Thanks so much for the follow, following right back!

Galit Breen said...

Nothin' like a little honesty to start off the day! I can so relate. My poor husband. I'm thinking effort and cocktails are an excellent star, though! Love the post! :)