Monday, January 3, 2011

You Kiss Your Mama With That Mouth!?

Since the middle of December, my family has been suffering from and passing around a couple different mutant germs. These said germs seem to pick people at random and then ravage their body for a couple days before attacking their next victim. So we have become the quintessential "druggies", running around with an array of cold medicines, pepto, Vick's vapor rub, and displaying our best Scrooge impressions. Bah humbug, indeed, has rang true in my corner of Mom-dom.

Since being stuck in the house with the grumpy old men isn't as much fun as it sounds, we (being- mom and dad) decided to take our joyous, all-deserving crew to the movies. We are gluttons for punishment, if you were wondering. To "Tangled" we go, with our 4 boys in tow. Yep, we probably shared our germs with all in attendance...but I really could care less! They probably gave me some new germs too!

Our boys were great at the movie since they were truly excited to see it. And since we are a larger family, movies are a luxury...and treated as such. Popcorn and soda was indulged by all. Considering the cost of such an "extravagant" would think our crew wouldn't need supper once back at home. Ah, but you would be mistaken. The "what's for supper" demand came shortly after exiting the movie theater...after $20 + in popcorn and soda had just been consumed!

Once home, the older boys (and daddy) disappeared to the basement to partake in a little Wii while mom came up with something quick and easy for supper. However, I had other ideas and needed to check some things (read: facebook, twitter, and my blog) on the computer. Obviously, the toddler was left to harass me so as not to interfere with the Wii tournament now underway. And, I admit, I wasn't paying as much attention the little stinker as I probably should have been (don't judge, you do it too). So when he brought me his sweet little finger and jibbered something in a language that I don't speak, instead of looking up from my computer to address his issue I just kissed his finger.

I was actually going to put it in my mouth, but for some reason, I reverted to a kiss at the last minute. And thank God for that! Something made my chin and lips wet. What could it be? He was just toodling around in the who knows what that little trouble-maker had been into. But that little dude had a look of horror on his face as he stared at his crazy mama. I wiped my chin...still not looking up from computer...but then he screamed a horrible scream. I looked up and grabbed his hand. What is this green stuff all overrrr...Ahhhhhh! It's poop! It's poop everywhere! Oh my gosh I kissed it! AHHHHHHHH!!! Honey, honey get up here right now!!!

The baby exploded! There was poop from the nape of his neck down and out the bottom of his diaper. Oh, and on mommy's face!!! Yep, I kissed his poop. Heck, I almost ate it!!! Daddy had to come and rescue both mommy and baby who were both extremely traumatized by this point. Not only was my little man freaked out by the green poo all over his hand. But his mama kissed it!! Then she screamed bloody murder and scared the crap (ha- I didn't even mean to make that funny!) out of him!

The moral to this story...don't put things in your mouth if you don't know where it's been, and every once in awhile, look up from the computer!


Liz said...

That is soooooooo gross! And a lesson you won't soon forget! Ha!

Liz said...

You sound just like my house! Tho I have never come that close to kissing poo poo...! That was hysterical!!! We are a bunch of sickies over here as well. Bummer.

I like the way you write and communicate. I wish I had your magic touch.

Following you back and grateful that you found me!!!!

Liz @ lil-LIZ-bits

Shell said...


Mika said...

Hi, I'm following from the blog hop.
I'd love a follow back at

blueviolet said...

That is absolutely hilarious!!!! For me. I realize it wasn't quite that funny to you. ;)

Heather said...

Blech, blech, blech, blech.

I had some on my thumb once and thought it was chocolate and licked it off...then I realize and ran to the sink.

Only my dad witnessed this and up till now I had told no one. Still hoping it was just bad chocolate.

Suzanne M said...

Love it! I mean, I dont love the fact that you kissed a poopy finger but you've got to've since laughed about it. ;)
Thank goodness you didnt put the whole dang thing in your mouth. Yuck yuck yuck!
Thank you for the tips. From now on, I'll be looking up from my computer A LOT more when interacting with the world around me. :)
Following your blog from my small corner of the world!

Megan said...

Ew. Ew ew ew.

Also? Hilarious.

Hilariously ew.

Hand Crafter said...

Found you while blog hopping! I'm your newest follower!

Nichole said...

You poor soul!
That's a story that you won't soon forget! :)

Mandee said...

It's definitely not you that's crazy, it's the boys, well unless they have caused you to be crazy! (I'm responding from the comment you left on my blog.) Thanks so much for joining in my blog bounce at

I love meeting other Moms of boys as well! Get your nerf shield ready if you will be stopping by often...ha ha!
I am following you now too! :)

sara said...

I am seriously LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! That is gross, but really funny too. I have taken things from my kids, when I am not paying attention, just to see it was a booger or something worse! Sorry to hear you all have been sick, so have WE!! Kindof freaky huh? Hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!! (great post, I am sorry it WAS!)

sara said...

Okay, had to leave another comment! I was cracking up at your comment!! You are hilarious!! My favorite comment of my husbands, EVERY time he gets sick, "there's no way that you and the kids had it this bad!" WHATEVER!! I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. I cannot imagine the emotional roller coaster you are starting with your husband's deployment! You seem like an awesome momma, I am sure you will be keeping them close and loving them lots!! You are all in my thoughts.

Mom vs. the boys said...

haa haahaaa!!! I can't stop laughing! that is halarious!

K-Fun said...

Bahahahaha!! I just died laughing! :-)

Annette said...

Oh no!!! We were sick throughout the holidays too. Not fun. Isn't it great that we can blog about episodes like makes it a little less gross and awful...and a little more and interesting (lol).