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I am a SAHM of 6 little dudes. My hubby's jobs require him to be away from home way more than I would like leaving me to fly solo more often than not. Since Dr. Phil won't return my calls, and Oprah has unfriended me, my therapy has now gone public! Here is where I go to receive cheap advice, reassurance and hopefully share some laughs. Honeslty, I'd love to make you laugh until you pee! So come, grab a cup of coffee (or vodka) and join in the conversation!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Let's Get, Let's Get, Let's Get, Let's Get Rocked!

I am not a party girl...never really have been. That's not to say that I have never partied or thrown my cautions to the wind. On the contrary, the 9 or 10 times (which is really more like 6 or 7 times) that I've busted loose...I've REALLY busted loose. However, I've learned that I don't much care for the "after" feeling the next day. Excessive alcohol seems to have an adverse effect on my good senses and inhibitions. My wild side is released, and my "life of the party" side comes out in full force! Apparently, I'm a riot! But since this is such a huge shift from my "girl next door" personality, everyone seems to enjoy telling and re-telling stories of the "crazy girl" at the party.

To avoid my inner Jeckyll and Hyde dilemma, I forgo parties, drink rarely, and mostly keep to myself (that would be myself...along with hubby and 4 kiddos and their ever-blossoming schedules....I'm far from a hermit, people!) On top of harnessing my alter ego, a night out is also expensive when you consider babysitter, meal, and entertainment. Not to mention that I still have to get up the next morning and be a  functioning mama ALL DAY LONG. A quiet night at home sounds more and more appealing, doesn't it?! However, I was sucker-punched into attending a military party with my husband last spring. I've mentioned casually in previous posts that I don't much care for these events and my "social butterfly" candle was extinguished long, long ago. With that said, I have managed to successfully avoid military parties, gatherings, and events.....that is, until the Spring of 2010.

Since my husband is not a high ranking officer, he is pretty much everybody else's be-yotch. Yep, that's how it works. But in 10 more years, I'm sure he'll have his own low-ranking officer as his personal punching bag as well. Hence, it should come as no surprise (to you anyway) that my hubby came home from work-very timidly I might add- and informed me that he had been ordered to tell his wife that she WILL BE attending the yearly shindig...all 3 days of it. Of course the diva in me pulled her shoulders back, wiggled her head all dramatically and shook my finger as I asserted my authority stating that NO MAN tells ME what to do. Turns out, I was wrong...so I swallowed my pride and accepted my defeat determined to NOT HAVE ANY FUN at the party I was ordered to attend.

Night one was pretty uneventful...if you consider getting a red-beer spilled down the front of my brand new outfit uneventful. I may not want to be at that party but I'm darn sure gonna look amazing while I pout! With the debacle of party #1 under my belt I was even more negative toward the prospect of party #2. However, I was still dressed to kill...or at least my hubby thought so...and that's all that matters at the end of the night (y'all know what I'm saying right??!!) Now party #2 was actually....wait for it.....pretty awesome. The entertainment was hilarious and some other high-ranking officer took pity on us poor low-ranking couple and kept the drinks flowing. My night's looking better and better! Except no one was monitoring the alcohol consumption of the nearly-virgin party-attender. Many, many sour vodkas later, I decided to slam some beers with my hubby. Did I mention that the party was basically over, and we were apparently "closing down the bar"! So unlike me. But, oh my gosh, we were having a great time...well, I was...I'm not sure what hubby was doing. I was sitting on the table entertaining 2 of my hubby's higher-ranking bosses...keeping up drink-for-drink with the high rollers! Oh yeah...life of the party!!

Said party continued at home with hubby....no candles and rose petals....we were all "bow chicka wow wow"...well...at least...I think, because it is all a blur by that point. Some time during the night all of those vodkas and beers mixed together and created a very unpleasant morning which included me taking 4 kids to soccer all by myself (hubby was still in briefings) Ugh! Once home, I laid moaning and groaning, cursing my partying decisions for the remainder of the day until I was carted off to the last of the 3-day hoopla. I walked around hungover with kids in tow at "Reptile Garden" and then joined in (read: watched everyone else eating...trying not to gag) on the complimentary grill-out. I have sworn to never drink again...until I am ordered to have fun....when I will apparently turn into the likes of Snookie!

9 comments:

Big Fat Gini said...

Oy. I've had plenty of not so fun party nights. I've learned my lesson for sure, because nobody wants to wake up hungover with three preschoolers screaming in your face.

Ashley said...

HA! It sure hurts the next morning after a good time!

Johi said...

Haha! I think we have all done the whole "Oh please Lord, make me feel better! I will NEVER drink again!"
Hangovers with children are a bad bad thing indeed.

April Westerhold said...

Ha! This totally reminds me of my military days. I was the lowly officer then, too.

april@Party of Five
http://www.westerhold.blogspot.com

Stephanie said...

This made my head hurt--from laughing so hard and also from remembering those "mornings-after." Yowza!

KLZ said...

I hate saying this but no hangover has ever sounded as horrible to me as the reptile garden sounds.

Rachel said...

I'm sure a hangover with children is no fun at all!! You poor thing!!

Oh, and I think you should totally pull out your pictures from when you were younger. Embrace your poor styling decisions...I did!!

:)
Rachel

Boobies said...

Bwhahhahaaha! I love this post!

I don't know how I partied so hard back in the day. (That really came off like I was like 98, didn't it?)

Boozing it up just isn't quite the same when you have to wake up early and take care of kids.

Amy said...

You sound exactly like me! I'm much different with a little alcohol in me. But I would much rather spend a relaxing evening at home 99% of the time than go out and drink.

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