You Kiss Your Mama With That Mouth!?

Since the middle of December, my family has been suffering from and passing around a couple different mutant germs. These said germs seem to pick people at random and then ravage their body for a couple days before attacking their next victim. So we have become the quintessential "druggies", running around with an array of cold medicines, pepto, Vick's vapor rub, and displaying our best Scrooge impressions. Bah humbug, indeed, has rang true in my corner of Mom-dom.

Since being stuck in the house with the grumpy old men isn't as much fun as it sounds, we (being- mom and dad) decided to take our joyous, all-deserving crew to the movies. We are gluttons for punishment, if you were wondering. To "Tangled" we go, with our 4 boys in tow. Yep, we probably shared our germs with all in attendance...but I really could care less! They probably gave me some new germs too!

Our boys were great at the movie since they were truly excited to see it. And since we are a larger family, movies are a luxury...and treated as such. Popcorn and soda was indulged by all. Considering the cost of such an "extravagant" outing...one would think our crew wouldn't need supper once back at home. Ah, but you would be mistaken. The "what's for supper" demand came shortly after exiting the movie theater...after $20 + in popcorn and soda had just been consumed!

Once home, the older boys (and daddy) disappeared to the basement to partake in a little Wii while mom came up with something quick and easy for supper. However, I had other ideas and needed to check some things (read: facebook, twitter, and my blog) on the computer. Obviously, the toddler was left to harass me so as not to interfere with the Wii tournament now underway. And, I admit, I wasn't paying as much attention the little stinker as I probably should have been (don't judge, you do it too). So when he brought me his sweet little finger and jibbered something in a language that I don't speak, instead of looking up from my computer to address his issue I just kissed his finger.

I was actually going to put it in my mouth, but for some reason, I reverted to a kiss at the last minute. And thank God for that! Something made my chin and lips wet. What could it be? He was just toodling around in the kitchen...so who knows what that little trouble-maker had been into. But that little dude had a look of horror on his face as he stared at his crazy mama. I wiped my chin...still not looking up from computer...but then he screamed a horrible scream. I looked up and grabbed his hand. What is this green stuff all overrrr...Ahhhhhh! It's poop! It's poop everywhere! Oh my gosh I kissed it! AHHHHHHHH!!! Honey, honey get up here right now!!!

The baby exploded! There was poop from the nape of his neck down and out the bottom of his diaper. Oh, and on mommy's face!!! Yep, I kissed his poop. Heck, I almost ate it!!! Daddy had to come and rescue both mommy and baby who were both extremely traumatized by this point. Not only was my little man freaked out by the green poo all over his hand. But his mama kissed it!! Then she screamed bloody murder and scared the crap (ha- I didn't even mean to make that funny!) out of him!

The moral to this story...don't put things in your mouth if you don't know where it's been, and every once in awhile, look up from the computer!