Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Murphy's Law

I think "Murphy" hangs out at my house. If something is going to break, we probably own it. If you see a crazy lady waving her arms and driving like a mad woman, it's probably me taking one of my kiddos to the ER. If your vehicle is running good, for heaven's sake don't let one of my brood touch it!

I am at the ER more often than some of the Dr's who work there. And I am certain that some of the staff are going to start remembering me. I know what road to take at what time of day to get there the fastest and with the fewest bumps (broken bones and bumps just don't mix). Murphy has contributed to concussions, stitches, 2nd degree burns, fractures, foreign object lodged places, and an array of germs and mishaps. HE has always liked to come around when my husband is out of town- my husband is never the one who has to pack up the crew and race to the ER- but "Murphy" plagued my home when my husband went TDY for 5 months for the SD Army National Guard.

Case in Point:

-2nd born son is playing on the playset with other brothers in the backyard when he passes out and falls 5-6 feet to the ground below- no it doesn't have the recommended cushioning below- I'm busy! Back off!! to the ER for a cat scan. He's already had a concussion, and he is the child that if he's going to get hurt, it is GOING to be his head. Of course mamma is freaking out. Fortunately, his melon turns out to be normal (that's a relative term).

-Oldest  falls out of the tree at a baseball game (he was supposed to be watching his brother). So we (that is code for "me") rush to the ER...arm- definetly broken! It's never good when the Dr comes into your room after the x-ray and says, "We found something very interesting...." No parent wants to hear those words coming out of any Dr's mouth. They discovered a cyst inside my kiddo's bone....we found out days later that it luckily -blessedly-wasn't cancer. I actually felt my hair turning gray in those long, long, loooong days of waiting for further information.

-I'm in the kitchen making lunch when the then 2 1/2 year old comes around the corner (very proudly I might add) announcing with obvious joy, "Mommy, I ate your medicine!" What??!! First, panic. Then, action. I ran around the corner to find the "child-proof" bottle of cold-medicine tablets open and all over the floor. Frantically call poison control.....directed to go straight to the.......wait for it......ER!!!! Luckily, the little fart was fine; just a little sleepy.

Ok. 3 down, 1 to go. What are the odds I will be in the ER with the baby before daddy gets to come home??????????

Fortunately, I don't end up needing to take the 4th little man to the ER. But 1 week after daddy gets home (btw- at this point daddy is now gone again; on his way to Guard drill....across the state), 2nd born son comes in with a gaping wound on his to the ER.....again.

I'm waiting for our local ER to send me my "frequent flyer" discount. Isn't that how it works?? Pay for 3, get the 4th one free??!!! We are repeat offenders so we will have our own privat room soon. Right?

That is only how "Murphy" has pin-pointed my boys. Our vehicles are another story. Two new transmissions in the mini-van alone within a 4 year time frame. Days befoe putting in that 3rd tranny, we are required to replace the engine in the car (we are a family of 6 and can't even all fit in that gosh darn car!!) This summer that said car was stolen....right out of our driveway. Awesome. (Guess who wasn't home to deal with that mess??? Yep. I had to take care of all of myself.....again.) We got it back but not before the fling-flangin' little thief ruined the tiresand stolesome stuff. (I had NO idea tires were so expensive.Tires. That purchase was no fun at all) And now the family vehicle-currently waiting for assessment and eventual bad news-is suffering from 2 (yep..2!) leaks; one somewhere in the front (I can change a newborn's diaper in the dark and half asleep but anything to do with the vehicle and you've got the wrong girl) and one from the gas tank.

My mantra is that I wronged "Murphy" in another life, and if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all (I inherited that "luck" from my dad- btw thanks daddy-o!) But, you know what? It can always be worse. The kids were all fine (I, however, suffered a couple more gray hairs, years taken of my life, that a wrinkle!!??); we own the said vehicles and had the cash to fix 'em. So maybe my luck isn't sooo bad after all....we have our health- no wealth, a happy marriage, and no debt.

Share how "Murphy" hangs out at your house...we could all laugh about it together.

No comments: