Do you ever have times during your day that you wonder why some other women seem to have it all together? You know the one that rises before herfamily to get that early morning workout in (I have that thought EVERY night, and by morning I have successfully talked myself out of it). She throws on something super cute and totally sheekand completely up-to-the minute fashion but never looks like she tried too hard. The house always seems to be spotless (I bet she has a cleaning lady!)...and where on earth could she possibly be hiding all the stinky laundry??? That big shiny SUV is clean and she flawlessly drives it around with choice-coffee in one hand and phone in the other. Kids are never late and always prepared. And she seems to be friends with everyone.....Is anyone else wanting to slap the perfect right off her????!!
She sounds simply wonderful....and totally intimidating. It boggles me to see that mom....Is she really that good? Does she fake it better than me?? What am I doing that is so wrong???
I get up maybe 10 minutes before my little terrorists bombard my morning. No time for coffee yet (for which I totally should get a gold star!), so breakfast is served from groggy eyed, robe enshrouded mamma. Workouts do happen, only during which the 2 and 4 year old throw off all the sofa cushions, dump out all the toys (which, btw, we have WAY too many of), and drag out all the blankets (we could blanket an army). In order to fit more tasks into my day, I forgo the shower (stinky, I know but don't stand that close to me then). Honestly, showers are the first thing that goes when I'm busy, frazzled, or tired....or when hubby is gone. On the upside, I'm saving a lot of water this way. Gotta "go green" right?!? Lunch gets served, errands done, stories read, and naps are like clockwork....all without any fanfare, applause, or recognition. Ok, ok. So, maybe that mamma and I aren't tooooo terribly different....except that she knows everyone, is nice to them all, and seems to really enjoy the constant socialization.
I can go the whole day- heck, the whole week- without talking to another adult (besides hubby- he doesn't count anyway). I go to the park and watch the other mammas chit-chat in their small-group playdates and think, "that would be nice", but honestly, the pressure of trying to hold a conversation with several mammas is too much for this self-proclaimed loner. So I forgo the small groups, playdates, mommy classes, workout buddy sessions for the solitude and safety of my home. If I can't beat 'em.....well, I'm definitely not going to join 'em!
I think like all of us, I have that fear of refection and imperfection....even now as a wife and mommy. But in my twisted reality, I figure that if the house is most-of-the-time clean, laundry...(seriously??? Is it EVER done??!!), kids are loved and happy (and fed...boys eat A LOT!), and hubby is taken care of, then maybe this IS perfect.
So, I'm going to draw myself a bath, scoop myself a bowl of ice cream, and send that perfect-only-in-my-own-head mamma down the street a basket of pastries and goodies covered in chocolate and call it a day.