Is This It?

Wouldn't it be great to go back to high school...only for a couple days? No bills, no cleaning, no laundry, no tantrums, no "mom I forgot _____" (fill in the blank). I look back to high school days and remember the carefree fun that I got to experience. Ok- so there was acne (um, hello? Wasn't that supposed to STAY in adolescence??!?), tests, book reports, homework, girl-spats with friends...but what I remember most is having a blast and loving every minute of it. I knew I was going to change- no- conquer the world! There was no doubt about it.

Somewhere along my path something changed. Now, I sometimes sit on my couch in my sweatpants (they're coming back in style right?) and washed-enough-to-be-comfy t-shirt and think....is this really it? Is this the mountain I thought I was going to climb? Have I truly conquered anything? Would the world truly end if I didn't pick up the toys that are somehow reproducing when I turn my back? Will my brood of men be able to tell that I hung up the wet, stinky towels, or washed their smelley clothes--seriously, how come boys smell so bad!!??-or organized the activity calendar so we are at the right place at the right time? Occasionally I consider making our "To Do" list into a "Ta Da" list- you know, one itemizing everything that mamma bear has done, accomplished, taken care of, wiped and/or changed and fixed throughout the day.

Probably not. But about the time I start to grab for my stash of secret chocolate (we all have one so stop judging me!) my inner kick-butt mamma says- heck ya!! I can do the laundry, make the supper-heck! plan a week of suppers, clean up the house, help with the homework, entertain the toddler, get the kids to do their chores-and make them think it was their idea all before daddy gets home from work! How's that for climbing a mountain!?

I am the CEO of the best business out there! Sure I may not truly get to set my own hours- but I always wake up to sweet stinky-breathed kisses and the sleep-filled eyes of my smiling boys who tell me I look beautiful and that they love me "so so much!" I would rather work for that boss any day. So, I may not get to pee alone -ok, I would actually like to do that every now and then...30 seconds, that's all I'm asking for!-and my toddler and preschooler always have to look at me while I'm showering and tell me that my boobs and be-bo (that's slang for belly button if you aren't already a Sandra Boynton reader) are broken, the 7 year old recommends every workout video known to man, telling me "you need that, mommy" and my 11 year old is on the verge of growing up and maybe not needing me as much as I need him. Even with all that....I think I not only met my goals I set as a wide-eyed, unknowing teen, I waved bye to them as I sailed right past!

No one can be mommy to my 4 little guys as good as I can. I know their hurts, their fears, their joys, their goals....their smells! But I wouldn't want anyone else to share in these moments (ok, daddy can have some too!) I get to spend my days as the one they want to talk to- good or bad.....and that's good enough for me.

So high school can keep it's cat-fights, Friday night football games, and flirty days. These adult days are full of a lot less judgement, no homework, and lots of peanut butter smiles that scream thank-you!